Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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