Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
