That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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