Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
