i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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