mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
