And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
