His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this will be a night to untag.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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