Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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