hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
