I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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