HIV tests are more positive than that guy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
