I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
