Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
