We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
A+ Viking dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
