On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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