If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
