I should be sponsored by Trojan
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
