a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
