I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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