im six kinds of drunk right now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
