I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
