So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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