the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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