Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
