but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
