her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
