Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
