if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
