How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
