apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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