Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
