Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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