then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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