stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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