Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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