I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
