There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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