You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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