he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
