he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
