so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
