just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
