I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i think my cat just said my name.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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