porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
