Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
