I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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