You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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