I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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