im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
