I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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